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Ashlee is Mama of one darling boy. A 28 week early bird, now 1 and some change, doing beautifully. She lives near Chicago with her sweetheart husband and French Bulldog. She's a thinker not afraid to get her silly on. Babywearer, veggie queen, photography nut. Before the domestic days Ashlee was pursuing a future in developmental psychology but has happily shifted gears in favor of staying at home and couldn't imagine doing anything else. In her free time (ha!) you can find her whipping up babyslings, holding down the fort at Mama Speaks and spotlighting as an Itsy Bitsy Yoga Instructor.

Bad Blogger

I'm on strike. Ok not really, I just haven't felt like blogging. Actually that's not it either, more likely it's that I've been feeling like I have to blog. And call me spoiled (or stubborn, or insert your own adjective here) but when I feel like I have to do something my inclination is to not do it. I'm really torn because I love blogging, I love writing. Simply stated writing is my therapy. It's cathartic. Calming. Reflective. And in so many ways I need it.

But there's the time. Hours. Hours I don't have. Hours spent in front of this screen. Hours I feel like I am stealing from my family. It takes me a good hour to write. To shuffle through my thoughts. And then when you add the time I spend reading and commenting on other blogs another hour or two has slipped by. I feel guilty, like I should be spending the time elsewhere, with David, or catching up on work, cleaning my house, anywhere but typing away.

So I've distanced myself, and while I feel like I do have more time, I miss it. I miss writing, I miss the release it brings, the clarity that comes through seeing my thoughts, emotions, and mundane happenings in print. And I miss my friends. I forget how much I communicate with even my in the flesh, local friends, via our blogs and email. And then there are the long distance friends I'm able to still feel so close to. And all of the amazing people I never would have met if it weren't for this silly little blog.

And so the verdict is that I'm throwing in the towel. On my strike. But also on my expectations. And the guilt. This is supposed to be my soft place to fall, my soap box where I can shout, my sounding board, my community. And that's what I'm reclaiming it to be.

It looks like this mama is going to roost in my nest a little while longer.

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  • Blogger Adventures In Babywearing says so:
    7:11 AM  

    Oh, I've missed you here and was afraid you indeed were done, but lucky me I get you in real life, too!

    Steph top

  • Anonymous Mama C-ta says so:
    10:54 AM  

    Yeah, yeah what Ashlee said! Exactly how I've been feeling for about a year now...although I haven't managed to overcome the guilt part yet. top

  • Blogger Glass Half Full says so:
    1:05 PM  

    I've been checking your blog wondering where you've been.

    I think we can all name a time where we felt like this. Just think we I am distancing myself since I have other stuff on my plate. IT'S OK!!! :) top

  • Blogger mamamilkers says so:
    1:52 PM  

    That's how I've been feeling, too :(

    I think when you step away for a bit you come back with more excitement, though!

    Oh, I was going to ask you and Steph if maybe we could all get together this summer when we're back for a visit in the midwest? Let me know if you're interested! top

  • Anonymous Anonymous says so:
    3:54 PM  

    I will be very sad if you really go on strike. Well, you better send me emails anyway! lol. I've gone through the same thing, and in my conclusion I decided that I don't care how many comments I get (which was huge for me because I wanted millions! Ok, I'm still working on that.) so I don't try to read everyone and their cats blogs (do you know that some people have blogs for their cats? how sad!)and I only read my fave blogs, and I'm only posting when I have something to say. I'm not committing myself to everyday anymore. It's so much more freeing and I don't feel that I'm chained to my blog anymore! top

  • Blogger Heidi says so:
    4:56 PM  

    I know how you are feeling too...I think we all do. It's a hard balance to find which is why some days I'm here and some days I'm not. I don't feel guilty anymore either, it IS something that's supposed to be fun after all!!! top

  • Anonymous O Mama Mia says so:
    8:11 PM  

    Amen, girl! But you're not a bad blogger, you're a great wife & mama & woman! Selfishly, I say, please don't go! ;) top

  • Anonymous Beth says so:
    5:06 PM  

    My rule is that the thought crosses my mind as "Oh, I SHOULD blog," then I don't do it. If it is "I feel like blogging," I do. As you've seen I post infrequently now but it has helped to let go of the bad blogger guilt. top