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About

Ashlee is Mama of one darling boy. A 28 week early bird, now 1 and some change, doing beautifully. She lives near Chicago with her sweetheart husband and French Bulldog. She's a thinker not afraid to get her silly on. Babywearer, veggie queen, photography nut. Before the domestic days Ashlee was pursuing a future in developmental psychology but has happily shifted gears in favor of staying at home and couldn't imagine doing anything else. In her free time (ha!) you can find her whipping up babyslings, holding down the fort at Mama Speaks and spotlighting as an Itsy Bitsy Yoga Instructor.

Oh, baby

The boy crawls stealthily across the floor after an exciting piece of who knows what... when suddenly, for reasons unknown, two chubby arms slip out from underneath him. Leaving nothing but his chubby chin to break his fall. And it does, meeting the hardwood floors with an unfortunate thud. All in slow motion of course.

Before we can take the five steps to him he's wailing and as I scoop him up I see it - there's blood. When his mouth jammed shut his tongue must have been in the way. Ouch! Now I've never had a problem with blood before. My blood, your blood, didn't bother me and it still doesn't but Xavier's blood... when it happens to leave his body it sends my senses into a downward spiral. My stomach leaps to my throat, heart races, I have to force myself to breathe... I remember X being in the NICU, they had to squeeze droplets of blood from his heel several times a day to check blood levels and med levels and oxygen levels and test for this and that. I got used to this somehow and even started helping with it. But then he had to have a PICC line inserted - we had to leave the room as it can get pretty, well not so pretty, as they try to find a vein and sometimes they have to insert it into the head which is just creepy... but they got it into his arm and placed right and we come back in and he looks just the same as when we left. Until I sit down and notice blood on his bedding, a very small amount of blood I'm sure but there is his blood outside his body and well that's just not the way it's supposed to be and he's sick and he's so tiny and he's already had to have someone else's blood put into his body so why now, can someone please tell me is his blood here, not in his veins, but on his blanket?!?! (I need to breathe right?!) Anyway back to the present... and his tongue...

Thankfully I have mom-o-pilot so I still manage to function despite my sudden afflictions. We're able to stop the bleeding (which really wasn't all that bad in the first place) and see that he just punctured the side of his tongue, rather than bitting it off like I'd imagined. Ahh, his first bloodied mouth and somehow we all survived; and he has quite the shiner on his chin to prove it. I'm trying to keep in the back of my mind that I'm raising my boy and if he's anything like me I've a life time of bumps and bruises, broken bones, near amputated appendages and 'freak' skateboarding accidents ahead of me.

I thought that would be the worst of my weekend - and then we went to sleep. X tossed and turned all night and while I don't remember ever 'getting up' I recall constantly rolling him from one side of me to the other, peeling away layers of blankets as his little body grew warmer and the little whimpers gradually turned into moans and groans and cries. When we finally came to this morning, wondering if we'd had any sleep at all - he looked at me with those sad sick baby eyes all of us mama's know so well. He was burning up and in attempt to cool himself had removed his diaper, handed it to me and was working on his shirt. His temperature so high that the thermometer beeped to alert me as if the climbing three digit number wasn't alarm enough.

And so our day began- our long day. Now, I won't dare complain about all the snuggles or the constant nursing in traditional positions (rather than the nursing on all fours or upside down that has become the norm) but there is something about seeing him so sick and miserable that just wears me down inside. For now he's resting, albeit somewhat fitfully, and I'm praying for a healthier tomorrow.

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  • Blogger The Flip Flop Mamma! says so:
    12:22 PM  

    Oh poor baby! And now a fever? That really stinks. I hope you get some rest time in today. When I was a baby I bit my tongue halfway off climbing stairs, of course I don't remember any of it, but my mom says all they did in the emergency room was stop the bleeding and send us home. There's really nothing they can do, and tongues heal really quickly. I don't have a scar or anything...which is good because a scar on the tongue would be really weird. top

  • Blogger Glass Half Full says so:
    2:11 PM  

    I hate high fevers in children. Matt is 6 and it still makes me nervous when his temp reads anything above 102. :( HANG IN THERE!!!! I hope little X is better soon enough.... top

  • Anonymous Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats says so:
    5:36 PM  

    I remember the first time I saw my oldest babies' blood. I got queezy. It's just not something you are supposed to see. Hope he's feeling better! top

  • Blogger Christie says so:
    8:15 PM  

    awwwww sweet sweet boy!!! we haven't had any incidents yet where there's been blood but I'll die when it happens!!! I hope he's doing better today, what a sweet picture! poor guy! top