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About

Ashlee is Mama of one darling boy. A 28 week early bird, now 1 and some change, doing beautifully. She lives near Chicago with her sweetheart husband and French Bulldog. She's a thinker not afraid to get her silly on. Babywearer, veggie queen, photography nut. Before the domestic days Ashlee was pursuing a future in developmental psychology but has happily shifted gears in favor of staying at home and couldn't imagine doing anything else. In her free time (ha!) you can find her whipping up babyslings, holding down the fort at Mama Speaks and spotlighting as an Itsy Bitsy Yoga Instructor.

Content

I've spent the past few days feeling sick and miserable. David says I'm like a man when I don't feel well and unfortunately I'd have to agree with him. I don't think I've really been out of commission since Xavier came home and it definitely made for a different experience. I was only able to rest while he napped, had to stay in "safe" places as I was feeling a bit narcoleptic and simply nursing really drained me. To top it all off the weather was miserable and after not leaving my house for 3+ days I was starting to feel a bit depressed and I guess a bit sorry for myself- yet selfish all at the same time (because we've been through sick and as miserable as I felt it didn't seem to qualify)

Sometime between when my head hit the pillow last night and the sun rose today - I was rejuvenated. The fog lifted and I feel great. I stepped outside this morning and embraced the feeling of fresh air entering my lungs, rain sprinkling my hair, wind tickling my cheeks. The seasons seem to have begun to change during my infirmity. The sticky summer days have given way to mild sun and cool breeze. Fall is here. And it seems to have brought out something new in me. Not that I was unhappy before, or longing or uncertain. But I feel a rush of peace, of certainty, of His presence... of contentment.

con‧tent[kuh n-tent] -adjective
1.satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

It's not about material things or financial status or social placement. But about what I really have. A beautiful family. For the first time in my life. A husband. A son. I have security in that. In them. Validity. Purpose. Love. Belonging. And through becoming a bride and a mother I finally have a true understanding of how He feels about me. His love. About what my true value is. About where I do belong.

My first reaction is to question - am I simply complacent?

com‧pla‧cent[kuh m-pley-suh nt] –adjective
1.pleased, esp. with oneself or one's merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied

I've done some searching and am convinced this is not the case.

I am endlessly blessed.

Contentment it is. And it is good.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6

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  • Blogger Awesome Mom says so:
    11:45 PM  

    I love that feeling. It is so easy to think that we don't have this or that and forget all the many wonderful things that we do have. top

  • Blogger Adventures In Babywearing says so:
    8:07 AM  

    I am so happy you are feeling rejuvenated!! 1 Timothy 6:6 is a favorte verse of mine... great post! Hope to see you soon! top

  • Blogger Michelle says so:
    2:58 PM  

    I'm glad to you are feeling better now. I can really relate. This is an area where I really struggle. I am never content with anything that I have or relationships that I am in. Thanks for sharing that verse! top

  • Blogger Glass Half Full says so:
    3:58 PM  

    I couldn't relate more. Today I was in a funk. The thought of winter coming isn't pleasant. Matt has been nagging about a trip to Disney World which we won't take with a 1-year old. Maybe I feel trapped??? Your post helped me cope!! :) THANKS!!! top

  • Blogger Heidi says so:
    7:09 PM  

    Thanks for sharing all of this. Beautiful post and glad you are feeling better too. top